I got caught up in using those little stickers/markers each month to take a picture of E next to the same teddy bear to indicate how much he’s growing. That was great until he started moving and then it turned into a chore. But because I know that when that day arrives (and I’m sure, at the rate I’m going, that day will be years in the making) and I’m ready to assemble a baby book, I’ll want all 12 months. Why stop now?!
As E marks the milestones of his own, I realized that I have my own Rookie Mom milestones. Some highlights include:
- Being able to calmly change a diaper blowout and almost not require a wardrobe change for either me or E;
- I have a nice group of mom friends that we see regularly. They are also good friends because they refuse to let me be lonely;
- I have a baby sitter and a back-up to that baby sitter and, now, a back up to the back up baby sitter;
- Walking around the supermarket on a Saturday morning at 7:30 is my idea of heaven;
- Outsourcing=sanity, particularly when it comes to having someone help clean my apartment;
- To revel in routines for everything: arriving home, preparing for school, bedtime;
- …and an area of growth: prepare for the next day the evening before–I don’t know why this one is hard, but I’m working on it;
- Only think a bit about work when I’m not at work; I’m amazed how free I feel when I just leave it all at school;
- I don’t think I’ve cried as much as I have in the last 10 months! At everything: good things, bad things, all the things in between–I’m a regular water works
- That if I want E to have a relationship with his father, then we (his dad and me) have to figure out a way to co-parent. It would be nice if we could get some sort of friendship back, but it’s going to take time and patience. SO MUCH PATIENCE.
- Patchwork mothering is the mothering I have to do: given that my own mother is not the best model for nurturing, I have the freedom to draw from the many positive examples I have in my life. That’s hard, because a part of me wants to blame my own mother, but blaming isn’t productive. Because I do need the models, though, I’ve given myself permission to create a beautiful quilt of mothering.
I’m still learning; my goodness, I’m still learning!
Single Mom So Far 
One thing I’ve learned: it doesn’t matter if it’s your first child or fourth, you are always learning. That’s one thing that never ends! Enjoy each milestone and each new piece of learning. The patchwork mothering idea is a great one! I think that’s true of people who had excellent mother examples…I mean, can you ever have too many good examples in your life? I don’t think so!
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Looks like you’ve reached some amazing milestones. I love the line about creating a beautiful quilt of mothering.
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It’s so good to look back instead of worrying and projecting! I love the fact that you are staying in the now and enjoying E! You’re enjoying the freedom of allowing yourself to be there for your little one rather than obsessing about school. Good for you!
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