I got caught up in using those little stickers/markers each month to take a picture of E next to the same teddy bear to indicate how much he’s growing. That was great until he started moving and then it turned into a chore. But because I know that when that day arrives (and I’m sure, at the rate I’m going, that day will be years in the making) and I’m ready to assemble a baby book, I’ll want all 12 months. Why stop now?!
As E marks the milestones of his own, I realized that I have my own Rookie Mom milestones. Some highlights include:
- Being able to calmly change a diaper blowout and almost not require a wardrobe change for either me or E;
- I have a nice group of mom friends that we see regularly. They are also good friends because they refuse to let me be lonely;
- I have a baby sitter and a back-up to that baby sitter and, now, a back up to the back up baby sitter;
- Walking around the supermarket on a Saturday morning at 7:30 is my idea of heaven;
- Outsourcing=sanity, particularly when it comes to having someone help clean my apartment;
- To revel in routines for everything: arriving home, preparing for school, bedtime;
- …and an area of growth: prepare for the next day the evening before–I don’t know why this one is hard, but I’m working on it;
- Only think a bit about work when I’m not at work; I’m amazed how free I feel when I just leave it all at school;
- I don’t think I’ve cried as much as I have in the last 10 months! At everything: good things, bad things, all the things in between–I’m a regular water works
- That if I want E to have a relationship with his father, then we (his dad and me) have to figure out a way to co-parent. It would be nice if we could get some sort of friendship back, but it’s going to take time and patience. SO MUCH PATIENCE.
- Patchwork mothering is the mothering I have to do: given that my own mother is not the best model for nurturing, I have the freedom to draw from the many positive examples I have in my life. That’s hard, because a part of me wants to blame my own mother, but blaming isn’t productive. Because I do need the models, though, I’ve given myself permission to create a beautiful quilt of mothering.
I’m still learning; my goodness, I’m still learning!